Coolest Costume EVER

I’m not really one for putting thought into getting ready. It’s a rare occasion when I wake up in time to put make up on for work, let alone fuss with hair or pick an outfit out in advance.

Halloween, however, is something I’ve been thinking about for months… literally. I think I first announced my plan back in May. (Yes, you can call me a loser.) But it all paid off — I had to cleverist costume around!

Just look:

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best


I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack…

I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late (story of my life…)
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity


Who uses a machette to cut through red tape


With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack…

I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
And at Citibank we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen

She wants a car with a cupholder arm rest
She wants a car that will get her there


She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen


She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler La Baron…


I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnggggggggg jacket


…but then again, who doesn’t?

mwahaha