Dec. 21, 2012

This is the scariest show I’ve ever seen.

We only have five more years to live before the world ends!

They all said so… The Mayans, ancient prophecies, even WebBot. I was so scared I IMed my brother — the scientist — about it this morning:

Me: I watched a History Channel special last night about doomsday. It was scary as f*ck.

Alex: Is it Dec. 21st, 2012?

Me: Yea! How’d you know?

Alex: Because I just had a dream last night that the world would end on that date.

Me: Shut up.
(Pause.)
Me: You’re kidding.
(Another pause.)
Me: Right?
(Looong pause.)

Alex: Obviously. I watched it the other day.

Me: It was scary!

Alex: Psht. That crap about the Earth’s mantle shifting overnight was funny.

Funny? I didn’t think so.

Me: Really? Aren’t you worried about the Earth and the Sun and the black hole?!
Me: The History Channel said it’ll be the end of the world!

Alex: Yes, well, http://www.deathclock.com/ tells me that I’m going to die in 2055. July 21st to be exact.
Alex: So I must survive the mantle shift then, I guess.
Alex: Hooray for me.

Whatever. I'm going to spend the next five years living it up. And for the rest of you believers, I encourage you to preorder Survive2012. It’s non-fiction, and will include chapters on unicorns. Yay!