After Date 4

It’s just not fair anymore.

He likes me so much, and there’s just nothing there. There should be butterflies, right?

He said, “I missed you! It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve last seen you. I think about you all the time.” Words girls would kill to hear. And I quivered. I hadn’t thought of him much at all… In fact, in the month we’ve been “dating” (Do five kisses qualify as dating?), he’s been on the far back burner. If there was something there, wouldn’t I make it matter more?

We planned Date 6. So I called to cancel and said, “My life is too crazy, and it’s not fair to you. You’re a great guy; this just isn’t the right time. Have a great vacation, and—if you’d like—call me when you get back.” He won’t call.

It makes me think of Hitch:

Basic Principles: No woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it.

He’s most right with the last line. While I may not know what I want, I do know what I don’t want. That’s what leads to the “This is a really bad time for me,” the “I just need some space,” and the “I'm really into my career right now.”

Except I mean those things, and I’m ok with it.