Thanks, but stop

I’m sick of people scolding me.

Maybe scold isn’t the best word; it’s not exactly accurate. But I feel like I get scolded all the time.

Sometimes, it’s a matter of confusion, ridiculousness, and mixed messages... At work — something should have taken priority over something else, something should have been done in addition to that other great thing, there should have been reminders about this.

Sometimes it’s very valid... At home — for something I did or didn’t do with Tequila, for forgetting to lock doors, for leaving lights on too long.

But either way, it feels constant... My friends scold me for keeping my phone off and being so out of reach. My family scolds me for my inability to stop using credit cards and for planning ridiculous adventures in my future.

And everyone scolds me for not wanted to stay put, settle down, make commitments. They tell me not to take out loans. They say, ‘Find a job that will pay for school.’ ‘Put some realistic thought into your future — don’t just dream about what you want to do.’

I understand people say those things because they care. They want to protect me. They don’t want to see me struggle or suffer in the future.

But that’s just who I am. I don’t want to settle down. Maybe I will later, but right now I’ll do everything I can try new things, see new places. I’m not afraid of debt — if that’s what it takes, than that’s what it takes. Maybe I am being foolish. Maybe it is irresponsible. Maybe in ten years I’ll regret the bills I have to pay for living on a whim in my youth.

But then maybe I’ll learn.

Clearly words aren’t doing anything “to knock some sense into me,” but instead only make me feel bad. I’m still going to dream about adventures elsewhere. I’m still going to plan several cities into my future. I’m still going to explore un-economical ways to fund my dreams. I’m not going to stop until I learn it’s not a smart thing to do… and at that point, I’ll have to figure out my own path to recovery. That’s how people grow up.

So let me be a reckless youth. The consequences will be mine to deal with in the future.

Thanks for caring. I love you too.

But at the ripe old age of 21, I think I know everything and I’m going to do whatever I want. And the only way that’s going to change is if I learn from my own mistakes.

Right?